Tired of hearing the same old voicemail message day after day? If you’ve got a fun personality and want to express it to your friends and acquaintances, why not through your voicemail? When choosing what to say on your voicemail, make sure to keep things appropriate and not too over the top. Here are just a few ideas for a clever voicemail:
- “I’m not at home today, and I might not be home tomorrow. So please leave a message after the tone. I didn’t take a shower today, and I might not take one tomorrow. So if you don’t leave a message after the tone; you might have to deal with me in person!”
- “You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, “We aren’t in, leave a message.” That’s why I’ve decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me.”
- “Hello. You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through the office and don’t need their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.”
- “This is you-know-who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.”
- “This is the Literacy Self Test Hotline. After the tone, leave your name and number, and recite a sentence using today’s vocabulary word. Today’s word is “supercilious.”
- “Hi this is [your name]: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are female, don’t worry, I have plenty of money.”
- “Hi. I’m not available at the moment. If you’re trying to sell something please start speaking now and hang up at the beep. Everyone else please start speaking at the beep and hang up when you’re finished.”
- “BEEP. Hello, this is WVKE, you’re on the air.”
- “Hello, you have reached the automated voicemail service for [your name]. Your message will be answered in the order in which it was received. Your message number is 8, 243, please hold, your message is important to me.”
- “Thank you for calling the Confessional Hotline. Father Durway isn’t here right now, but if you’ll leave your name, number and confession at the tone, he’ll get back to you with absolution as soon as possible. And remember, confession doesn’t count unless you confess all of your sins in vivid, graphic detail.”
These are just a few fun ways to brighten the day of those who reach your voicemail.
